There is nothing pleasant about breaking up with someone. Whether you are the one being rejected, or you are the one doing the rejecting, it can be a very uncomfortable situation. However, there are ways that you can break it off with someone without being cruel or hurtful. While you won’t be able to eliminate the pain they may feel, you can consider their feelings in the process.
In this day and age it is all too common for people to take the easy way out and break up with their most recent love interest via text. This is a cowardly and impersonal act and can lead the other person to feel that you were never really invested in the relationship from the beginning. There is no reason to cause this kind of harm and trauma. Instead, you should validate the other person and respect them, just as you hopefully would have when you wanted to be in a relationship with them.
In all reality, the best way to break up with someone is to do so in person. Of course, this can be a very difficult situation and may involve a great deal of emotion, but by doing so, you are showing them that you still do care about them as a person. Just because you have determined that you do not see a future with the person does not mean that they do not deserve true closure. Doing it this way can actually lead to the rest of the process going smoother than it would by using other means to end the relationship.
When breaking it to them that you do not want to go foward in the relationship you will want to avoid using any accusatory language. Stay away from telling them about how you feel they failed in the relationship. That is only relevant if you wish to work on it. This is a time to reflect on what your personal faults are or how you feel that you are not a good match for them. Being accusatory will only lead to them becoming defensive or encouraging an argument. Simply discuss why it will not work out for you, not how they won’t work for you.
There are situations, of course, that it may not be possible or smart to do it in person. For example, if they are not local it may be necessary to do this over the phone. If that is the case you should still be sure to use the right language. If the individual has been violent in the past or is extremely volatile, it is absolutely best to communicate as little as possible about the break up. These situations are pretty much the only ones in which it is appropriate to use other means to end the relationship.
By breaking up with them in a respectful manner you are reducing the amount of time that it will take them to get over it in most cases. It can also help to handle other issues, such as having to exchange property. Take the time to think about how you would like to be treated, that can help to lead you in the right direction.